Loper Jack

Loper Jack's insane sense of humor is legendary among that strange tribe known as Jackalope. He has a special love for the vain and concieted, considering them all so tragically beneath him that their silly vanities deserve his contempt, which is expressed, naturally, in horrendously funny ways. He's a trickster, so who knows what that means? It's always entertaining, though. Loper Jack carries with him his own hand mirror so that he may, at any time stop to gaze rapturously upon his majestic horns, his luxuriant coat, his liquid-amber eyes, and his amazing ears. His mirror has rather a different effect on his interlocutors, though. Send Jack to your favorite ego-maniac. They'll find much to discuss. 
 
Each Herb the Battle Unicorn card is hand drawn, inscribed and snail-mailed to the recipient of your choice. The exterior will be a unique drawing of Herb the Battle Unicorn, while the interior will feature that substance most perfectly representative of karma: glitter (sometimes referred to as the herpes of the craft world for its insidious ability to stick around for-practically-ever.).
 
Each card is blessed with our special herbal preparations and incantations which are devised specifically for the purification of karma, meaning that each card is precisely calibrated to the recipient by the recipient's contribution of his or her contents of character. Each Naberius Greetings card ordered will be matched by Naberius Greeting for a synergistic providence projection purge, or something like that. What this means is that your Naberius greeting will be mailed at the same time as a card made specifically for a convicted killer of our choice, increasing the awesome freaky fateness of your conjuration. This is powerful shit.